HOU Survival Guide: Panic Management & Infinite Loops

I thought the hard part was to get successfully enrolled. How innocent I was. Like a Junior Dev thinking they can deploy on a Friday afternoon and everything will go fine.

Almost 2 months after the start, and having a —let's call it— "abstract" idea of what the Hellenic Open University (HOU) is, I started studying with the mindset I had in legacy systems (see: High School).

Fatal Error.

The Discovery of GE_Protocol

We barely boot up the semester and already by the 1st week a notification pops up: Topics for the 1st Written Assignment (WA).

That's exactly where the context switch happens. I realize that Computer Science at HOU isn't just coding. It's Distributed Panic Management.

In the first WA, I scored almost perfectly. Morale went up. I felt like a hacker.

And then, exactly one week after the results, the event is triggered: 2nd Written Assignment. And that's where the real party starts: reading the problem statement and parsing failing miserably.

The Equation of Despair (Math Block Edition)

As a young scientist, I tried to model my situation. I discovered that study efficiency ($E$) is inversely proportional to the volume of information ($I$) and the square of open tabs in the browser ($T$).

E = \frac{1}{I \times T^2} + \lim_{coffee \to \infty} (Panic)

In short: The more tabs I have open on Stack Overflow to find "the solution", the more understanding tends to zero.

The Algorithm of (Non) Study

I tried to organize my schedule by writing a Python script. The logic was simple: "While I have energy, I do processing".

Unfortunately, I forgot to handle the environment exceptions (see: Social Media) and the script entered an infinite loop of procrastination.

import time
import random
 
def study_session(energy_level):
    caffeine_intake = 0
    
    # Main Loop of despair
    while energy_level > 0:
        print(f"Stats: Energy={energy_level}% | Coffee={caffeine_intake}")
        print("Processing paragraph 3...")
        time.sleep(1) # Concentration simulation (not really)
        
        # The system bug (Distractions)
        distraction = random.choice([
            "Discord Notification", 
            "Is the Fridge empty?", 
            "Debugging on Facebook wall",
            None
        ])
        
        if distraction:
            print(f"CRITICAL ERROR: Context Switch to '{distraction}'")
            energy_level -= 15
            caffeine_intake += 1
            
        if caffeine_intake > 5:
            # Hardware failure imminent
            return "System Overload: Hands are shaking. Abort mission."
 
    return "Exception: I'll start on Monday"
 
# Run at your own risk
status = study_session(100)